More and more couples are deciding to choose their engagement ring together. From household chores to childcare, gendered expectations in relationships have changed, and as a result, the tradition of leaving the proposal solely up to the man has become more flexible. The answer to “Who chooses the engagement ring?” is changing with the times, and selecting a ring as a couple sets the tone for a strong and equal partnership.
That’s not to say that sticking with tradition is a bad thing. Every relationship is unique, and what truly matters is that the choice reflects your shared values, trust and commitment to one another.
If you ever find yourself thinking, “Should we pick the engagement ring together?” or even “How do couples choose an engagement ring?”, let this couple's guide to engagement rings walk you through the process, from before, during and after your appointment at Austen & Blake.
Before your appointment
1 Start with an open conversation
Starting with an open, honest conversation will help you gain more clarity on your shared vision for marriage.
First, think timelines:
Do you want a short or long engagement?
What year should we plan to get married?
Should we take time to save more money before setting a date?
Once you’ve established this, discuss preferences for the proposal itself:
Would you prefer to be surprised or not?
What does your dream proposal look like?
Do you like the idea of a big romantic gesture, or would you prefer something simpler and more intimate?
Now, let’s talk wedding!
Are we thinking big, small or destination?
What is our saving strategy?
How will we resolve any disagreements during planning?
Being aligned on these important factors will help to minimise any stress, reduce potential friction later on down the line and, most importantly, build even more excitement about your future together.
With the big questions covered, when should you start looking?
“Customers should start looking at least 6-8 weeks before they need the ring,” says James Harris, Regional Sales Manager at Austen & Blake. “Because many of our rings are made-to-order, this allows enough time for choosing the design, selecting the diamond, and having the ring crafted. Starting earlier also means there’s less pressure, so you can take your time and enjoy the experience rather than feeling rushed,” James adds.
2 Set a realistic budget
Now, let’s discuss what to consider when buying an engagement ring. Whether you decide as a couple or just as the person making the purchase, we recommend setting a budget early on in your search for the perfect ring. That way, you can research options within your financial comfort zone well in advance of your appointment.
Once your budget is set, it’s important to consider how you plan to pay for it. Paying for the ring up front can help avoid interest charges and keep the overall cost lower, while spreading the payment over time can make the purchase feel more manageable within your set budget. If you choose this option, be sure to thoroughly check all interest rates and any additional fees before committing.
From defining your budget early to planning your payment, our engagement ring buying tips for couples will make such a momentous purchase feel manageable. Now that you feel financially comfortable with the decision, it's time for your appointment.
During your appointment
Unsure how to pick an engagement ring? Your appointment at Austen & Blake will ensure you feel confident in every choice you make.
3 Understand the 4Cs
During your appointment, our jewellery expert will dedicate time to explain the 4Cs of a diamond: carat, clarity, cut and colour. Each of these categories will impact the look and feel of your diamond engagement ring as a whole.
“Understanding the 4Cs will help you make informed decisions and balance what matters most to you within your budget,” says James. “We explain the 4Cs during the appointment in a simple and practical way, so you can see the differences for yourself and choose what feels right.”
4 Explore designs together
Engagement rings for couples are often centred around personal and symbolic significance. Some couples like to take inspiration from a family heirloom, while others create a design that celebrates a shared milestone in their relationship. Alternatively, incorporating a symbolic gemstone, or one that corresponds to your partner's birth month, can add deeper meaning to the design.
“To get the most out of the appointment, it helps if customers have an idea of styles they like, but it’s not essential. Many people come in with very little knowledge and that’s absolutely fine. Our role is to guide you through the process step by step,” explains James.
When exploring designs together, it’s all about finding what represents your love best. Take a look at our engagement ring style ideas for couples below.
From gold and rose gold to platinum and white gold, choosing the right metal is a crucial step. Not only does metal type impact overall appearance, but it also affects comfort and durability for everyday wear. Alongside this, different metals naturally complement different skin tones better than others.
In addition to the advice from your jewellery expert, our detailed metals guide is a comprehensive resource to help you select the perfect metal. If you're looking for a ring that stands the test of time, this engagement ring shopping guide focuses on enduring designs and includes the metals that age best.
6 Natural or lab grown diamonds?
Now it's time to explore whether you’d prefer natural or lab grown diamonds. Let's look at the key similarities and benefits of both:
Natural diamonds are rooted in tradition and rarity, which contribute to higher resale value overall. Ethically sourced in compliance with the Kimberly Process, our natural diamonds are certified by leading independent gemological laboratories, and for certain pieces, we also provide our own in-house certification.
Lab diamonds are a great choice for maximising your budget, as they allow you to choose a larger carat weight or more intricate setting without compromising on brilliance. Their technology-driven origin also means they have a shorter, more traceable supply chain.
“Lab grown and natural diamonds have the same physical and visual properties, but they differ in origin and price. We always present both options and explain the differences in a neutral and honest way,” says James. “Our role is to give clear information and show real examples, so you can decide based on what matters most to you personally.”
7 Get professionally sized
One of the many great things about selecting a ring as a couple is that there’s no pressure to secretly find out your partner's ring size. While we offer an at-home ring sizer, we recommend having your finger professionally measured during your appointment. Our jewellery expert will ensure an accurate fit, so you can be confident your ring fits perfectly from the outset.
8 Ask practical questions
Asking all the practical questions during the appointment will ensure you have all the information you need to make a decision. Here are the most important ones to ask:
What is the resizing policy?
How long is the production timeline?
What warranty or care plan is included?
How should the ring be cleaned and maintained?
How will it sit alongside a wedding band?
After your appointment
9 Don’t feel pressured to decide immediately
Post-appointment, it’s completely normal to take time to reflect and compare options. The last thing you want to do is push yourself into making a decision, especially when it's such a big one.
Your jewellery expert will provide you with comprehensive details on your favourite rings, but we also suggest taking your own notes during the appointment, too. From engagement expectations to budget, compare these notes with everything you’ve discussed before to ensure each factor aligns.
“If you’re still deciding, we’re always happy to make adjustments, show alternative diamonds or book a follow-up appointment,” James adds.
10 An element of surprise
Choosing an engagement ring together doesn't lessen the romance of the proposal at all. Instead, it offers a thoughtful opportunity for open and intimate discussions about your shared vision for marriage. What’s more romantic than that?
Nonetheless, there’s always room for an element of surprise. Let one partner take the lead by leaving the timing and setting of the proposal up to them. Alternatively, pop the question with a promise ring or family heirloom, and then choose the engagement ring together afterwards. For an added layer of sentimentality, consider personalising the ring itself with an engraving or hidden detail.
Whichever way you choose, the most meaningful proposals are the ones that truly reflect the love you share. Taking time to add thoughtful touches or unique surprises will ensure the occasion feels personal for both of you.
A final thought
With so many factors to consider, finding the best engagement ring for your partner can feel overwhelming at times. But by breaking the process down into this engagement ring guide, we hope to have made the decision feel much easier, less daunting and most of all, even more exciting!
Ultimately, it’s all about finding the perfect symbol of your love for each other. Whether you're designing a ring together, adding surprise details or simply narrowing down a few favourites, our jewellery experts are here to guide you every step of the way.
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More and more couples are deciding to choose their engagement ring together. From household chores to childcare, gendered expectations in relationships have changed, and as a result, the tradition of leaving the proposal solely up to the man has become more flexible. The answer to “Who chooses the engagement ring?” is changing with the times, and selecting a ring as a couple sets the tone for a strong and equal partnership.
That’s not to say that sticking with tradition is a bad thing. Every relationship is unique, and what truly matters is that the choice reflects your shared values, trust and commitment to one another.
If you ever find yourself thinking, “Should we pick the engagement ring together?” or even “How do couples choose an engagement ring?”, let this couple's guide to engagement rings walk you through the process, from before, during and after your appointment at Austen & Blake.
Before your appointment
1 Start with an open conversation
Starting with an open, honest conversation will help you gain more clarity on your shared vision for marriage.
First, think timelines:
Once you’ve established this, discuss preferences for the proposal itself:
Now, let’s talk wedding!
Being aligned on these important factors will help to minimise any stress, reduce potential friction later on down the line and, most importantly, build even more excitement about your future together.
With the big questions covered, when should you start looking?
“Customers should start looking at least 6-8 weeks before they need the ring,” says James Harris, Regional Sales Manager at Austen & Blake. “Because many of our rings are made-to-order, this allows enough time for choosing the design, selecting the diamond, and having the ring crafted. Starting earlier also means there’s less pressure, so you can take your time and enjoy the experience rather than feeling rushed,” James adds.
2 Set a realistic budget
Now, let’s discuss what to consider when buying an engagement ring. Whether you decide as a couple or just as the person making the purchase, we recommend setting a budget early on in your search for the perfect ring. That way, you can research options within your financial comfort zone well in advance of your appointment.
Once your budget is set, it’s important to consider how you plan to pay for it. Paying for the ring up front can help avoid interest charges and keep the overall cost lower, while spreading the payment over time can make the purchase feel more manageable within your set budget. If you choose this option, be sure to thoroughly check all interest rates and any additional fees before committing.
From defining your budget early to planning your payment, our engagement ring buying tips for couples will make such a momentous purchase feel manageable. Now that you feel financially comfortable with the decision, it's time for your appointment.
During your appointment
Unsure how to pick an engagement ring? Your appointment at Austen & Blake will ensure you feel confident in every choice you make.
3 Understand the 4Cs
During your appointment, our jewellery expert will dedicate time to explain the 4Cs of a diamond: carat, clarity, cut and colour. Each of these categories will impact the look and feel of your diamond engagement ring as a whole.
“Understanding the 4Cs will help you make informed decisions and balance what matters most to you within your budget,” says James. “We explain the 4Cs during the appointment in a simple and practical way, so you can see the differences for yourself and choose what feels right.”
4 Explore designs together
Engagement rings for couples are often centred around personal and symbolic significance. Some couples like to take inspiration from a family heirloom, while others create a design that celebrates a shared milestone in their relationship. Alternatively, incorporating a symbolic gemstone, or one that corresponds to your partner's birth month, can add deeper meaning to the design.
“To get the most out of the appointment, it helps if customers have an idea of styles they like, but it’s not essential. Many people come in with very little knowledge and that’s absolutely fine. Our role is to guide you through the process step by step,” explains James.
When exploring designs together, it’s all about finding what represents your love best. Take a look at our engagement ring style ideas for couples below.
5 Choose the right metal
From gold and rose gold to platinum and white gold, choosing the right metal is a crucial step. Not only does metal type impact overall appearance, but it also affects comfort and durability for everyday wear. Alongside this, different metals naturally complement different skin tones better than others.
In addition to the advice from your jewellery expert, our detailed metals guide is a comprehensive resource to help you select the perfect metal. If you're looking for a ring that stands the test of time, this engagement ring shopping guide focuses on enduring designs and includes the metals that age best.
6 Natural or lab grown diamonds?
Now it's time to explore whether you’d prefer natural or lab grown diamonds. Let's look at the key similarities and benefits of both:
“Lab grown and natural diamonds have the same physical and visual properties, but they differ in origin and price. We always present both options and explain the differences in a neutral and honest way,” says James. “Our role is to give clear information and show real examples, so you can decide based on what matters most to you personally.”
7 Get professionally sized
One of the many great things about selecting a ring as a couple is that there’s no pressure to secretly find out your partner's ring size. While we offer an at-home ring sizer, we recommend having your finger professionally measured during your appointment. Our jewellery expert will ensure an accurate fit, so you can be confident your ring fits perfectly from the outset.
8 Ask practical questions
Asking all the practical questions during the appointment will ensure you have all the information you need to make a decision. Here are the most important ones to ask:
After your appointment
9 Don’t feel pressured to decide immediately
Post-appointment, it’s completely normal to take time to reflect and compare options. The last thing you want to do is push yourself into making a decision, especially when it's such a big one.
Your jewellery expert will provide you with comprehensive details on your favourite rings, but we also suggest taking your own notes during the appointment, too. From engagement expectations to budget, compare these notes with everything you’ve discussed before to ensure each factor aligns.
“If you’re still deciding, we’re always happy to make adjustments, show alternative diamonds or book a follow-up appointment,” James adds.
10 An element of surprise
Choosing an engagement ring together doesn't lessen the romance of the proposal at all. Instead, it offers a thoughtful opportunity for open and intimate discussions about your shared vision for marriage. What’s more romantic than that?
Nonetheless, there’s always room for an element of surprise. Let one partner take the lead by leaving the timing and setting of the proposal up to them. Alternatively, pop the question with a promise ring or family heirloom, and then choose the engagement ring together afterwards. For an added layer of sentimentality, consider personalising the ring itself with an engraving or hidden detail.
Whichever way you choose, the most meaningful proposals are the ones that truly reflect the love you share. Taking time to add thoughtful touches or unique surprises will ensure the occasion feels personal for both of you.
A final thought
With so many factors to consider, finding the best engagement ring for your partner can feel overwhelming at times. But by breaking the process down into this engagement ring guide, we hope to have made the decision feel much easier, less daunting and most of all, even more exciting!
Ultimately, it’s all about finding the perfect symbol of your love for each other. Whether you're designing a ring together, adding surprise details or simply narrowing down a few favourites, our jewellery experts are here to guide you every step of the way.
Book an appointment now.